Adam sent me a link to a video clip on the Internet of Gareth Bale scoring twice against QPR last Sunday. I started supporting the Hoops as a teenager when Rodney Marsh joined from Fulham in 1966, Adam has been a Spur since his bris in Highgate some years earlier, so the arrival of this electronic torment was not entirely unexpected. With Pavla's help I sent back a video link to "Gaddafi sodomized by bayonet" an ugly but essential piece of cine verite detailing the birth of liberal democracy in the Maghreb, I offer as tribute to all who supported President Sarkozy's re-election campaign paid for and accompanied on the ground by the Qatari army ,err, I mean "NATO Jets protecting civilians". But my smug schaudenfreude was cut short by the announcement that NATO Jets, rather like Status Quo in the 80's, are not returning to their hangars after another successful tour but are idling on the runway preparing to attack Iran... on suspicion that Iran may be concealing weapons of mass destruction. The last clause in that sentence apparently ringing no bells at all in the MOD, FO, Palace of Westminster, Downing Street, UN, David Kelly's mausoleum, Andrew Gilligan's office. I can only suppose all bells have been disconnected since electricity prices went up 1000% after we privatised all those inefficient customer-unfriendly state utlilty companies staffed by striking Trotskyites in the 80's.
There was a time when "magic bullet" was a figurative term implying some sort of panacea such as penicillin, meditation, cranberry juice, or the (late) Jim'll Fix It (I don't care how much money he raised for charity that man was weird, I would rather my grandson shared a weekend in bed with Wacko Jacko high on "Jesus Juice" than spent sixty seconds in the same studio with that mother-fixated, bling-adorned, tracksuit-wearing bachelor disc-jockey-cum-wrestler). Today however "Magic Bullet" means just that - real actual bullets.
There seems to be no problem a prolonged spanking by a Eurofighter Typhoon, Dassault Mirage F1, F16 Fighting Falcon, Tornado GR4 and their complement of Tomahawk ,Brimstone and Paveway missiles (the former two sounding like tag team wrestlers from the WWF in the Hulk Hogan era, the latter like a Department Store Home-Loans spinoff company)cannot solve.
So beware not just Natanz, Qom and Arak, all "problems" are now liable to the NATO Jet solution: Greece, St Paul's, the favelas of Rio, the malarial mosquito, the HI Virus, Anorexia, MIlton Keynes Dons, Jeremy Kyle, gluten, that back-chatting schoolgirl Molly off "Educating Essex", , Jack Whitehall, people who split infinitives, Sickle Cell Anaemia, all blonde newsreaders worldwide, Ryanair (it's a Sidewinder air-to-air for you lot), Alan Green, Cher Lloyd, Bugaboo Strollers, middle-aged media men head-to-toe in figure-flattering black: you look like bald Ninja weaklings, the Boden catalogue, my ex-wife's new husband Alistair.... Hm, maybe not such bad idea after all.
FC Naylor
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
To boldly go through your list I agree with Alan Green,MK Dons and Alan Green again (tosspot that he is).John Terry is conspicuous in his absence though FC.
ReplyDeleteThe occupy LSX campaign has been hilarious.Not the slightest impact on the city,but major upheaval at St Paul's.The funniest thing is the justification used by those protesting."What would Jesus do"
This is the sort of thing George W Bush comes out with.So in an attempt to be very left wing,they are using the slogans of the most right wing of US presidents.Well done everyone.